You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you will always have a special place in my vag
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
