Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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