i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i think i have two assholes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
