Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
