your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
