there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
