What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
