Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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