Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.