Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize