glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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