I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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