You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize