If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
