He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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