This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize