I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You need Xanax blowdarts
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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