bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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