Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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