a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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