I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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