is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
