i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
