idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
