I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
