playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize