I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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