K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
