So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
