I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
