i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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