I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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