she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
