my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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