like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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