This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
