so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
