shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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