I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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