So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
organizing the empties. That sober.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
