a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
3 2 1 whiskey
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
