just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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