We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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