As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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