I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize