so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The air was thick with penises
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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