I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize