You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize