she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
