After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
false alarm, still single
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
