Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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