Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
