And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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