i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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