You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Panties = found
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
