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• (708): View more from Illinois

  she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

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• (498): View more from

  You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.

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