Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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