You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.