dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.