Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (1056) Bad night (3309)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

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  (214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f
  Replies (36) Good night (7883) Bad night (945)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

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  (613): She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo" http://tfl.nu/ucwd
  Replies (8) Good night (3258) Bad night (935)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3460) Bad night (1475)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage

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  (724): Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage http://tfl.nu/yt67
  Replies (19) Good night (3221) Bad night (1086)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?

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  (330): Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch? http://tfl.nu/ae8u
  Replies (6) Good night (3223) Bad night (1025)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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  (314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot
  Replies (6) Good night (1387) Bad night (1244)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking

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  (617): College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking http://tfl.nu/tpd8
  Replies (9) Good night (1903) Bad night (586)
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  (818): View more from California

  Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20

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  (818): Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20 http://tfl.nu/6e47
  Replies (2) Good night (1252) Bad night (434)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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  (616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk
  Replies (10) Good night (2885) Bad night (642)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

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  (870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn
  Replies (13) Good night (737) Bad night (871)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"

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  (613): He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know" http://tfl.nu/d7uq
  Replies (8) Good night (1039) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK

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  (432): GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK http://tfl.nu/gkbk
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (307)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.

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  (787): Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles. http://tfl.nu/pkda
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (608)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her

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  (716): I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her http://tfl.nu/4jwu
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (227)

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