Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Operation extremely regretful is in full effect

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  (803): Operation extremely regretful is in full effect http://tfl.nu/gnro
  Replies (3) Good night (1252) Bad night (652)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.

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  (425): i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break. http://tfl.nu/5pkx
  Replies (21) Good night (3287) Bad night (711)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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  (623): Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth? http://tfl.nu/7zio
  Replies (34) Good night (901) Bad night (11918)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1226) Bad night (4698)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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  (352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9
  Replies (25) Good night (2320) Bad night (5805)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (6151) Bad night (1369)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...

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  (615): Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her... http://tfl.nu/47qs
  Replies (19) Good night (1059) Bad night (4130)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen

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  (705): I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen http://tfl.nu/714w
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (790)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?

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  (304): I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this? http://tfl.nu/dpdb
  Replies (31) Good night (1115) Bad night (1782)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

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  (847): YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU http://tfl.nu/vl39
  Replies (7) Good night (2272) Bad night (687)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.

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  (970): If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink. http://tfl.nu/96yi
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (474)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?

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  (402): Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window? http://tfl.nu/mwbz
  Replies (10) Good night (1668) Bad night (946)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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  (601): He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time. http://tfl.nu/0o2i
  Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (681)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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  (651): Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong. http://tfl.nu/nhsj
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.

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  (847): Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/r89c
  Replies (0) Good night (765) Bad night (335)

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