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• (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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• (516): View more from New York

  i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know

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• (212): View more from New York

  You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.

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• (916): View more from California

  We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception

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• (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.

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