At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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