Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
