I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
