at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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