I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
