Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
