So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
