i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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