You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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