You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
