Dual....:-)
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
