Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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