Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize