She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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